Friday, September 26, 2008

I love marriage!

I know most of you are following our blog so you can watch Lucy grow and see all the fun things she's doing. I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be throwing a few more posts in here that aren't about Lucy! Trust me....its good for her to know it's not all about her. She already thinks it is! I'll still try to post some cute pictures of her on my non-Lucy posts :)

Back to marriage - John and I are in a small group that is currently reading the book Sacred Marriage. If you're married, you should read this book! Its very challenging and makes you take a look at your perception of marriage and the purpose of it versus God's perspective of it. (More posts to follow about this later)

Last week our leader handed out some practical tips to having a healthy marriage. I wanted to share these with you. (I think they are from a book called The Magic Five Hours a Week.) Many of the successful couples we know have incorporated these practices into their lives. Marriage is WORK! You don't get a happy, successful marriage just by being in the right place at the right time!

Take time to restructure 5 hours a week of your time together and see what a difference it makes in your relationship!
  • Partings: Don't part in the morning without knowing one interesting thing that will happen in your spouse's day. (2 min a day x 5 work days = 10 min)
  • Reunions: Take 10 min to talk about your day (the stress-reducing conversation). Partners alternate in actively listening. Rule: Support and understanding must precede advice. (20 min a day x 5 days = 1 hr 40 min)
  • Admiration and Appreciation: Find some way every day to genuinely communicate affection and appreciation toward your spouse (5 min a day x 7 days = 35 min)
  • Affection: Kiss, hold, grab, touch each other. Play is good. Make sure to kiss each other before going to sleep and follow Ephesians 4:26 "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry" (5 min a day x 7 days = 35 min)
  • Nurturing the marital friendship and arguing: Take at least 2 hours a week for a marital date. During this date, you may do a number of things such as talking w/your partner about things that are important to you, discussing conflictual issues, and asking one another about how each of you is doing. Think of questions to ask your spouse such as "What are you thinking about these days" or "What would be your idea of a great getaway?" Take some time to discuss your thoughts and feelings about an inspirational book you have been reading together.

Now - let's go out and work on our marriages! They are worth the work! If you have any other tips, I would love to hear them.




5 comments:

Amanda said...

I will have to get that book. I agree that marriage is a lot of work but well worth it. I think we are still in the honeymoon phase but I'll probably need to refer to it one day :) Maybe I can get Matt to read it but you know how stubborn your brother is.....hence the reason I need the book!

Valarie Daly said...

Ahh Kelly you wrote my next blog!!! I was thinking about doing the same thing and posting The magic 5 hours in a week!!! I thought it would be great to share something so easy to do (hopefully) and so important to do! Thanks for saving me the extra typing :-) I'm praying that tons of women will read your blog and start incorporating it into their weekly routine! Looking forward to hanging with you and Lucy next weekend!

Largaespada Family said...

What great advice! I am starting this same book with my Wednesday small group. I am looking forward to all we will learn.

Largaespada Family said...

So apparantly I didn't log off of the computer at the Sullivan's because I didn't type the above comment. My guess is that it is from Cassie! How funny!

Anyways, back to an actual comment by Jaime...I love the post! Great advice! And definately keep those pics of Lucy coming!

the "Real" Jaime

Anonymous said...

Can you bring the book when you come visit in October? I think this blog is awesome and plan to try the things you suggested too.

Oh yeah - how SPECIAL that Betsy sent you a onesie! She is so fun and how thoughtful of her to think of Lucy.